We all want to have those special moments with our partner. We want, sometimes desperately to make them experience the greatest nights of their lives. We plan, we try, and we spend a fortune trying to produce that once in a lifetime event. If only we realized that the true ingredient for special moments we already had in front of us.
My sweetheart and I were talking the other day as we were driving around shopping. We were just talking away about different things, and our website came up into the conversation. During that conversation, she had a really good point. She was saying how some people focus so much on that perfect evening or date, trying to make it all as wonderful as possible, and when they don’t get the type of response from their partner they expected, they get disappointed. It was a really great point, I thought. When we put that much effort into something we are setting expectations. The more expectations we set for ourselves or others around us, we are setting ourselves up for disappointment, especially when we have expectations of how someone else is going to react.
My baby is so smart and so right on. She started talking about how if they just focused on the little things more, then they would be so much happier. Instead of trying to plan a wonderful night out or perfect dinner or something, to just focus on those precious moments together. This made me think about our relationship and how it has always been from the beginning. Without really thinking about it back then, this is exactly how we progressed. Our schedules were a little chaotic at times, and so we would try to just spend a few moments together here and there instead of trying to block out hours at a time. With a family and crazy job, this can become a source of disappointment because of how quickly plans can change. So I would go see her for lunch sometimes, knowing we couldn’t spend 30 minutes straight at one time, but we could get a minute here and there and see each other’s smiling faces. This, I believe, actually brought us closer. We appreciated just a few moments here and there so much, that when we had hours or a night or even a full day, it was that much more enjoyable. We made every moment count, and tried to be as close as possible to each other when we were together.
I know shopping doesn’t sound like a romantic evening to most people, but it is for us. It’s something we have to do, and is a great opportunity to spend time together. We can actually wander around a grocery store or department store for hours just the two of us. We will laugh and smile and hold hands on the cart. We will talk about everything from work to ourselves. Sometimes we get so caught up in our own world together, we forget some items, but hey there’s another chance to get away together. The point being made here is that it isn’t what you do that makes things special. It is who you spend those moments with that make it special. Of course we go out together, and do the more typical date activities when we can. But we make every moment count. We focus on kissing each other, holding hands, snuggling, looking into each other’s eyes. It is her and me that make a moment special, it is not the environment we are in. By doing things this way, every moment together is something to remember. When we are in a beautiful place, it is even more special. But again it is special because of us. We would be happy anywhere as long as we were spending that time together.
Let’s think back at all the single little or big moments you may have with your partner, that are possibly not currently on your mind as opportunities to be meaningful. There are many more, but I have provided some samples with comments as a bulleted list. Maybe this will give you some ideas to ignite sparks back or keep the flames going in your relationship.
· Waking up in the morning
What can be better than waking up to your special someone and saying good morning baby, giving each other a soft kiss and starting your day with a smile? If you don’t get to wake up with your baby, give them a text saying good morning when you wake up so when they wake up it is waiting for them to start their day.
· Going to bed at night
This is like waking up. Kiss each other goodnight; tell them to have sweet or colorful dreams. Be gentle and loving so as they drift to sleep, the last thing on their mind is nothing but sweetness. If you are not with them when they fall asleep, call them from bed, or again text them. With these first two, both of you are starting and ending your day with warmth and compassion.
· Eating breakfast, lunch, or dinner
If you are eating together, before you sit down, come up to your partner and give them a kiss on the top of their head if they are already sitting. Go out of your way to show a little love. You are already together at the moment, give each other a smile, a wink, grab their hand and tell them how handsome or beautiful they are. If your kids are there, then you have a chance to show them how a loving relationship works with adults.
· Getting the kids off to school
Everyone is rushing around so no one is late for work or school, but what if for one split second, you made the effort to grab your partners hand and give it a soft squeeze. You don’t even have to say anything. Just hold that hand for a second, maybe kiss it, but grab that hand. Or wrap your arms around them and say I love you, and go on about your business.
· Working in the yard
Imagine this, you’re a little sweaty, digging in the dirt or cutting the grass, and your baby comes up and gives you a big smile and kisses you on the forehead or cheek or lips. Or maybe they just gently touch your cheek with their palm and just smile as they look into your eyes. Can you feel that? What a feeling that could be, and it only took a few seconds. Less time than it takes to say” we never spend any time together”.
· Playing with the kids
If you are playing around with the kids, why not grab your partner as they walk by. Give them a little tickle, or chase them for a second giggling. I guarantee they will smile when you aren’t looking.
· Helping the kids with homework
If you both help the kids, and you are sitting at the table together, reach over and touch your partners hand. Hold it and rub fingers. You have a dedicated amount of time that you two are sitting near each other. Touch each other. Even if you just reach your foot over and touch their foot. Touch is important, and you have a perfect opportunity to express yourself with just a little touch.
Go ahead and give them a little kiss on the neck, or maybe a gently pinch on the butt. Or be playful and nibble softly on their leg as you pretend to get that bottle of cleaner out of the cabinet they are standing in front of. You can always play stupid if it’s not even the right cabinet, but they will definitely know you went out of your way to just touch them.
· Watching TV
If you guys are having the time to sit in front of the TV together, then you should be close if not snuggling. I say you better be snuggling, and in each other’s arms. But if that is too much for you at least touch each other’s feet together or sit close. But the point is with that much together time, and no togetherness, then shame on both of you.
· Having a free moment at work
If you have a free moment at work, give your honey a call or text. Even if it’s just to say Hi I was thinking of you. But it shows them you are thinking of them, and will brighten both of your days.
So if you want to have that special relationship with countless memorable romantic moments, don’t spend so much time planning and plotting perfect dates and breathtaking adventures. Focus on you and your sweetheart instead. Make them the magical ingredient of your date. Make everything you do together a date. Shopping, walking the dog, washing the car, can all be a cherished moment together. Cook dinner or lunch together and make sure to bump into each other to steal a kiss while you are doing any activity, hold hands while driving together. Most of all, be happy just to be around each other.